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Aug 28 2021

My heart aches, but today it aches just a little bit more. Today marks the 34th anniversary of my baby sister's passing to suicide. I remember that awful day as if it were today. Who ever says time heals all wounds, lied; at least in my case. The pain I feel for so long won't go away. My CPTSD is flaring up terribly, almost to the point where I feel I need to seek help. I AM OK though! Thank GOD that I have art in my life. Drawing helps me to cope. When I am in my studio room drawing, it's such a spiritual time for me. It's a time when I am alone, just me and the demons that continue to haunt me from a tragic childhood. I go through many emotions, guilty, shame, fear, anger... ultimately I start to feel a slight peacefulness, perhaps it's my sister looking down on me or maybe it's GOD, maybe a combination of both. I don't but right now, I need that peace, so I am going to retreat into my darkened studio for awhile.....