Here is an update on my drawing “Die Ältesten” 9 x 12 graphite pencil on Bristol Smooth paper. For me, drawing is the one thing that helps me to cope with living with CPTSD. When I’m drawing, I find myself looking deep within myself, which is both scary and extremely difficult. Each mark I make is a stepping stone along my personal journey of self discovery and healing. I have “The Elder” eyes almost finished, he is now looking at me, watching me, judging me….does he see my inner pain? As I pour all of my emotion into this drawing, I find myself feeling lonely and lost in my thoughts. The voices are loud - it’s easy for me to listen to them, to believe what they are saying is true - as I have always done in the past. As I stare into the eyes of “The Elder”, I ask myself, can I continue? Do I have what it takes to go beyond my limitations? Am I strong enough to ignore the demons in my head and push through? We shall see…..
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